In a desperate effort to save the Earth from the effects of global warming and overpopulation, scientists from around the world have joined forces in what is being called a ‘scientific jihad’ to develop a newly proposed source of energy that promises to revolutionize human society and bring new hope to billions of marginalized and impoverished people.

Project Gaia evolved from the ground-breaking work of Dr. Atticus Auden-Levi, professor of Noetic and Consciousness Studies at John F. Kennedy University in Pleasant Hill, California. While researching Appalachian folklore and the spiritual beliefs of the indigenous Caucasian peoples, Dr. Auden-Levi discovered a previously unknown method of producing a synthetic fuel that was once widely practiced in the isolated mountain communities, largely cut off from outside resources. The process involved an amalgamation of dried human corpses, coal dust, turpentine, native hemp leaves, pond scum (algae), and recyclable organic material harvested from outhouse storage reservoirs. Through an as yet little-understood process, these ingredients were combined and concentrated, then pressed into cakes to be used for cooking, heat, and distillation operations. The resulting fuel produced many times more BTU’s per cord than maple, oak, or hickory, and allowed for the conservation of precious hardwood trees.

In the mountainous terrain typical of the region, the disposal of deceased persons was problematic, as flat spaces for burial were rare and needed for living space. Until the invention of the new type of fuel, bodies were often burned without any benefit from the energy produced, although some communities practiced cannibalism to fully utilize the resource. During particularly hard winters, it is known that the very young and the elderly were sacrificed to provide the essential raw material for the fuel.

The international team of Project Gaia researchers, involving scientists from MIT, Harvard, Princeton, and prestigious universities around the world, is studying ways to refine the method to make it suitable for both mass production and use by people living in poor and overpopulated macro-geographic regions.

The effort, the largest collaborative scientific undertaking since the development of the atomic bomb, has gained the attention and support of such notable philanthropists as Bill and Melinda Gates, George Soros, Warren Buffet, and Bono, who have collectively contributed a massive influx of funding.

Pope Francis and the Dalai Lama have also conferred their blessings, with the Dalai Lama quoting the Gautama Buddha himself, saying “your life will bring heaven to earth.” Pope Francis noted that the new scientific revelation was a gift from God, “as long as we can prevent corporate greed from subverting His will.”

Asked about Project Gaia at a recent appearance, Bono said, “It’s really cool man. Save the Earth.”