Life

Rumored Apple Car Will Fly, Shoot Lasers, Make Life Perfect For Millions of People

In 2007, Apple changed the face of mobile technology as we know it with the release of the iPhone. A few years later, they did it again with the iPad – the world’s first (popular, anyway) home tablet device. In just a few short years the iPad and similar tablets have supplanted the need for a laptop computer for millions of people around the world. Now, if rumors are to be believed, Apple is poised to do it again – not from the perspective of changing the way we live our lives inside the home, however, but rather what we do outside it. Industry analysts predicted that in the next few years, Apple will unveil its own car.

Though the car itself doesn’t have a name yet and also doesn’t technically exist anywhere other than on paper, it will probably go by the name of iCar or something similar. The Apple iCar will completely rebuild the automobile from the ground up and promises to include all of the features that we’ve been expecting a car in 2015 to include since watching “The Jetsons” on Saturday mornings when we were children.

More specifically, the iCloud will most certainly be the world’s first consumer ready flying car. Whether or not the car will include its own propulsion system and lift off vertically like the Police Spinners in “Blade Runner,” or whether it will take off horizontally and more closely resemble one of the flying cars on Coruscant from “Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones” remains to be seen.

Though it has not yet been confirmed, rumors also indicate that the iCar will most certainly shoot lasers, similar to just about any science fiction flying automobile depicted in popular culture in the last few decades. It was always assumed that you couldn’t build a futuristic car without lasers, which is something that Apple has now confirmed.

Finally, sources indicate that the iCar will almost certainly include the revolutionary new feature of “making your life better in literally every way almost instantly because it has the Apple logo on the side,” which is what really has consumers and experts alike excited. It’s a wonder why other car manufacturers weren’t brilliant enough to include this “make life perfect and solve all problems worldwide” feature before now.

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