Life

David Guetta to Teach Justin Bieber How to DJ

David Guetta, renowned international DJ and producer, has decided to cancel his world tour again, but this time the reason is far more ridiculous. After much deliberation, Guetta has decided to take on Justin Bieber as his new DJ student.  David Guetta will spend six months full time – 24/7 with Mr. Bieber for an undisclosed sum. The Canadian pop singer has been in a bit of slump since his recent run ins with legal law enforcement in the U.S.

No surprise, Bieber is realizing he too might go the way of teen sensations if he doesn’t quickly find a way to make himself the center of attention again. So, after watching his nemesis, Paris Hilton, buy her own way into the EDM industry as a DJ club spinner, Bieber has decided he wants to go the same path as well. Ergo, he has been begging the king of international dance DJs, Guetta, to teach him the mystical craft of weaving dance beats and not making an idiot of himself on the sound system.

David Guetta, 47, is realizing age is starting to catch up with him as well, the long hair is getting a bit thin and drippy, and his look just isn’t catching the 20 somethings without heaving drinking and directly handing women cash, so he has realized value in being connected with Bieber as well. This win-win relationship of two entertainment drips couldn’t have been matched up better.

Guetta should be able to make something out of the Beebs, despite the Canadian’s penchant for dorking out. Guetta has proven himself repeatedly as an accomplished music innovator, an excellent mixer and scratcher. He just has a bad penchant for making friends with dweeby Canadians apparently. He’s French though so I imagine he can’t help it much, like wearing skinny jeans.

One would think the two have fallen in love with each other, the way they look at each other and spend so much time together.

Guetta just has to get past the challenge of how to convince Bieber to stop wetting his bed at night, to not be afraid of the dark, and to stop crying when he’s hungry.

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